30 Life Lessons

Well hello there! It’s been a little long while. I know, I know—I have been slacking a bit on the blogging. Life’s been crazy! It’s been over a year and a lot has changed. And I mean, a LOT. I’ve been doing less documenting of life via blogging, and just more…living. Weird, huh? For one thing, I just got back from VACATION in the Caribbean, and it was amazeballs. Also, I am no longer in my twenties—I became a thirty year old on October 30^th! That being said, I thought I would share my top 30 life lessons (in no particular order). The wisdom I am about to impart to you is all things I have learned through experience in some way, some are practical, some are weird like me, so I hope you enjoy them!

                                                    

1. Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize. When people ask me why I look like I am barely 21 (I get carded everywhere), I am always ready with my classic line, “I moisturize.” But SERIOUSLY, it’s true! I have been religious about it since the 8^th grade, when I learned about skincare in modeling school. I stay out of the sun (unless I have SPF 30 or higher on), I don’t go tanning, I don’t smoke, I drink lots of water, and these are all things that keep me looking young.
2. Don’t go to bed mad. My mom always used to say this to my siblings and I, and it’s true. For one thing, it’s really hard to sleep when you are mad. But life is too short to go to bed feeling mad. What if you woke up and didn’t have the chance to apologize, or worse, you DIDN’T WAKE UP AT ALL.
3.  Incorporate what you love into your daily life. You love The Walking Dead? Hang up a TWD calendar at work. Love your family and friends? Hang up some pics where you can see them. That way, when you need a little pick-me-up, you are surrounded by them!
4. Laugh. A lot. I will admit that I laugh about the most random, silly shiggen. My partner makes me laugh every day. I’m weird, and I laugh at weird stuff, but it’s a muscle I work out every day! And (I don’t care how old I get) laughing at farts is something I will never, ever outgrow.
5. Choose happiness. When you wake up in the morning, and stuff isn’t going your way—you are late, you’re all out of milk, you have a flat tire, whatever—keep in mind that you can CHOOSE to make the best of the situation. Happiness is a choice you make moment to moment, day by day. The more you can see the bright side, the happier you will be.
6. Indulge! Just buy the thing that is out of your price range if it will make you happy. I dropped some serious dough on a Sleep Number bed this past year, and though it wasn’t easy to part with the cash, it was SO entirely worth it. I thought, well I sometimes have back pain, and I spend ½ my life in bed anyways, so might as well be in extreme comfort. I sleep better, and better yet—my bed has “underbody lighting” so that I don’t disturb my partner in the middle of the night, it is adjustable (raises up and down), it has massage settings, and it’s basically just amazing. I was kicking myself thinking, why didn’t I do this sooner?
7. Give the gift of your time. Whether you volunteer, take a friend out to lunch, or just listen on the phone, your time is the most valuable thing you can give to someone. Spend it wisely, because in our busy lives, we can only give so much (without burning out). And not everyone deserves your time either!
8. Remove the negative people from your life. I don’t just mean people with a negative attitude, but those who attract drama to themselves all the time, or have wronged you—perhaps more than once. You don’t need that drama in your life—those happiness suckers. I’m not saying you need to hire someone to kill them, but if they are an emotional drain, or piss you off when you talk to them, then just don’t waste your time or energy on them. Eventually, if they are smart, they will get the hint. Well, hopefully, anyway!
9. Be open-minded. Try new things. I used to HATE country music. I don’t even really know why, because my grandparents loved it. Well, I liked a few select songs, but when I started listening it on the regular (reggo, as I like to call it), I realized it wasn’t actually all that bad. There is something to be said for not knocking something until you have tried it. Or maybe just enough exposure will make you like it!
10. Don’t always say yes; don’t always say no. There’s a good balance to maintain your commitments. I have learned if I say yes to everything, I burn out. It’s a bummer to miss some things, but you have to retain your sanity.
11. Make time for YOU. In this busy world, make time for some alone time. For me, it is going to the gym, getting a facial, pondering life on my work commute without distractions. Self-reflection is important!
12. Don’t dwell on the past. Use it to learn and move on with your life. If you think always about your regrets or the way things “might have been,” you are depriving yourself of the good things you have in front of you right now. You can’t change the way things were, but you can change the way they will be. You have your whole life ahead of you, and many chapters to write.
13. Listen to your gut. If you feel a certain kind of way about something, but you can’t really explain it, chances are there is some truth to it. Don’t ignore those gut feelings you have, because they turn out to be right so many times.
14. Be kind to all. I cannot stress this enough, whether it is the CEO of a company or your waitress. You don’t know the struggles they have been through, and just because someone may not have the most glamorous of jobs, that doesn’t mean you should treat them as less of a human being. Also, before you react out of anger—stop and think about what you are about to say. People will remember your hurtful words, sometimes as long as they live, so don’t say something you might later regret.
15. Don’t sweat the small stuff. I have this earring tree that holds like 100 pairs of earrings. It got knocked over accidentally by my partner, and earrings and earring backs were literally everywhere—all over the room. Some of the earrings even got broken. But rather than flipping out about the time it would take to re-organize it, or the huge mess or the broken earrings, I took a deep breath, and just cleaned it up. Because you know what? It wasn’t worth the energy to get angry, especially over something that was an accident! And he apologized and helped me locate the earrings. We bonded over me talking about my favorite ones, or where they came from. They were all cheap ones anyways. It’s just stuff!
16. Take care of yourself. I mean eat healthier, get a little exercise in however you can. Walk. Dance. Move. I started going to the gym about 3 years ago, and wish I would have done it sooner, honestly. It’s hard to get started, but I sleep better at night, have more energy, am more aware of what I eat, I feel stronger, I like the way my body looks, and it’s a bonding experience with my partner, when we can go to the gym together. Don’t get me wrong, I love beer and wine and don’t plan on giving those up anytime soon, but just moderation, as with anything. You only get one health, so don’t throw it away. (I still hate cardio and probably will forever!)
17. Save some money. Again, something I wish I would have started doing much sooner. Saving money is good for emergency situations. They say you should have about 3 months of your earning put away, but I think it should be wayyyy more than that. You never know what could happen! And I use some of the saved money on fun stuff, but I always replace it. It takes time to build it up, but the cushion is good to have!
18. Pay your bills first, THEN have fun with what is left over. Unless you want to end up living at your mom’s house when you are 40. I know it sounds cliché, but be responsible with and about your money. After all, Mom isn’t going to be around forever to take care of your broke @$$.
19.  Learn about another culture. Learn another language. Travel. See the world. It opens your mind and your heart so much. It allows you to experience life from a different perspective and more readily accept the differences of others. Overall, it makes you a more well-rounded and cultured individual.
20. Don’t be afraid to fail. So many people are afraid of failure. It sucks. It hurts. It costs. But honestly, it teaches you so much. You come out stronger, wiser, and more humbled. Everyone needs a reality check once in a while. I don’t think there is such thing as a life fail. You can always find things to be grateful for.
21. Tell the people in your life that matter that you love them, and tell and show them often. I wish I had said it more to my grandparents when they were alive. I would give anything to be able to get off work, go pick up my grandmother, and just drive around or go out to eat. Our time on this planet is so short, and life gets so busy that the time just flies and flies. Don’t become too busy to let someone know that you are thinking about them or that you care. A good friend of mine said to me recently that he remembered how I send actual mail to let friends know that I care about them. It’s true—call me old-fashioned, but snail mail is where it’s at. Plus who doesn’t love getting mail?
22. Be generous. Hint: you don’t need to be rich to do this. Be generous with your time, your love, your happiness. It’s a good feeling to give to others in whatever way you can, and see them smile and brighten their day. Who wants to hang around selfish people who only care about numero uno? Or spend all of their time and money on themselves? Those are the people who end up alone and unhappy in life, full of regret.
23. Give a crap about something. Have convictions, have beliefs, in whatever that may be! Don’t just agree with what everyone else says and go with the flow like a brain-washed cotton-headed ninnymuggins. Stand up for what you think in your heart is right, even if your voice is singular or unpopular.
24. Don’t worry about what other people think about you. I have made my peace with this, and let me tell you—it has not been easy or fun. Everything you say, everything you do is going to be judged by other people who don’t even have the faintest idea about who you are. So let those haters keep on creeping on your social media, trying to piece together a you that they’ve built up in their own mind. Don’t worry your pretty little head about them. They’re just jealous and insecure about their own lives.
25. Be a good communicator. I cannot stress this one enough, especially being a communication major. Listen well—that means putting your mobile device down and making eye contact with the person you are talking to. Let them know you care by being engaged, and acknowledge what they are saying—even if you don’t agree with it. When problems arise in your relationships, talk them out. Don’t play games—talk about how you feel and why. Don’t make someone guess that you are mad at them. And if there is ambiguity about things, clear it up, explain yourself.
26. Be you. Stay true to yourself. If the friends you are hanging around or the person you are romantically involved with doesn’t like you for who you are, in all seriousness, they can go—there’s the door, don’t let it hit you on the booty on your way out. Don’t let anyone change who you are so that they can be happy. Don’t ever lose the things that make you who you are—those things that make you a weirdo. After all, nobody is a better you than you. And there is someone out there who thinks you are perfect just the way you are. Remember, a lion doesn’t lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.
27. Always have something to look forward to. I am a planner, always planning the next get-together, the next vacation, etc. Having stuff to be excited about is always fun, whether it is hanging with a friend, going somewhere, or trying something new.
28. Never stop learning. I loved school, and even today I love learning new things that I can turn around and teach someone else, which is why being a trainer is such a good fit for me career-wise. Whatever you are interested in, whether it’s architecture, animals, video games, history, food, or zombies…go learn more about it! (I will be one of those 90 year old ladies getting her 4^th doctorate). Every person you meet knows something you don’t!
29. Make a BAMF LinkedIn Profile and keep that shiggen up to date. If you make it REALLY good, then you only need to update it once in a while. Grow your network, make it fun and entertaining, and for goodness sake, do not make it a repeat or regurgitation of your resume. Have a professional pic of just you (no nudity, beer, drugs, costumes, questionable life choices, husbands, wives, children, pets, friends, etc.), use keywords, have a decent summary, and add some skills on there. Get some recommendations from former bosses also (assuming you haven’t burned those bridges). You just never know when your dream job is going to come around knocking. Hey, I got my last few jobs from LinkedIn recruiting, so that’s pretty promising!
30. Take risks. I’m not saying parachute out of a 350 story building (cuz that’s flippin’ cray) but I mean—if you get a great job offer at another company, or you want to travel the world while you are young—just do it! There are some regrets I have of not doing things, and I would rather have taken the risk and had the experience!

You made it to the end! Wow, you are a trooper--thanks for reading! That’s all I have for now…and the list will continue to grow. Any others you would add? J

Gift Giving Guide

I can haz dis?

Gift giving is really an art, and can be really rewarding. I love giving gifts (because it makes people so surprised and happy). Some people really struggle with ideas of what to get. Have no fear—I am here to help!

I have two words for anyone out there who is struggling with gift giving ideas and is reading this: pay attention. It’s that simple. Know what someone likes (be it a sport, hobby, show, video game, type of clothing, etc. Not sure? Just ask!), and it becomes soooo incredibly easy to buy for them. I also live by the philosophy that if I love it so much, you might love it so much too. At least, that has mostly worked on my friends thus far! Oh, and don’t forget those gift receipts!

*Get crafty. A homemade gift is always from the heart, and there are so many things you can make (just take a gander on Pinterest for TONS of ideas!) In the past I have made a memory jar, glass etched mugs, mix CDs (and tapes, back in the day) and Russian tea. Also, instead of one big expensive gift, get a few little meaningful ones. And finally, take the time to write out a nice message in a Christmas card. Like, who seriously does that anymore (besides me)? Hell, even attach post-it notes to gifts to make it extra fun (especially when sending to long-distance friends and family to give them explanations).

*Go unique. I am all about buying things that people can’t just get anywhere—personalized or just hard to find. Like traveling to another country and grabbing some souvenirs, and hanging on to them until Christmas!

*Food is always good, but be mindful of allergies. I would never buy orange juice for my friend Kelly, for example, because that would kill him, and that’s not really the message I want to send (especially at Christmas time). Oh and fruitcake—don’t do it. Just...no.  Candy is good though—chocolate especially. And there is definitely no shortage of that around the holidays!!!

*If you are going to buy someone underwear, don’t do it unless either you are either related and it’s a necessity or you are romantically linked. I mean, how would you feel if a casual acquaintance or co-worker bought you a thong? (Think Buddy the Elf and that sexy teddy he got for his dad—HA!)

*Go practical. Some people really need things. As an example, every single year, my mom always wishes for a kitchen timer, measuring cups, and slippers. She goes through these like crazy somehow. There’s also the gifts that you think someone might need also (like hint, hint kind of a thing). Have a friend who is always late? Get them a watch. Or a boyfriend who never remembers a birthday? Birthday calendar, FTW (and write in all his family member’s birthdays on it).

*Clothes are generally safe, but sizing might be tough. Also, only buy if you know it’s their unique style or something they really dig. Always get a gift receipt! Socks and winter gear like hats, gloves, and scarves are a no-brainer.

*Be wise, accessorize: You can never buy enough bling! It doesn’t even have to be pricey to look cute. I buy 90% of my baubles from Tar-jay (Target). Fashion scarves, purses, wallets, backpacks, etc. require no sizing, so go bananas!

*Gift cards are pretty safe and universal, if you don’t have time to shop or don’t know someone well enough to get them a more personal gift.  Secret Santa, anyone?

*Perfumes, colognes, and body sprays and body washes are great gifts, but be careful. You may unintentionally send someone the wrong message (that they are stinky). So, unless that is your intention, just proceed with caution. Some people (like myself) are also very picky about the scents they will or will not wear.

*Have some feels and go sentimental. I LOVE anything from UW-La Crosse, as that’s where I went for undergrad. Get me UW-L gear or ANYTHING alumni and I will love it. Pictures are good too for friends, and family. Print a good one out, buy a nice frame, and boom—instant keepsake.

*Alcohol: good for the bestie, not so much for the boss.

*Gag gifts are fun, but make sure they aren’t too offensive. Avoid religious and politically themed gifts, if at all possible. I bought the oldest co-worker I have a funny picture book called All My Friends Are Dead. He loved it, and thought it was hilarious.

I am a BIG online shopper, but that only really works out if you have time to ship things. Here are some of my favorite websites to buy nifty giftys:

Everything: Urbanoutfitters.com, Amazon.com

Artsy Crafty: Etsy.com

Beauty: Sephora.com, Birchbox.com

Décor: Westelm.com

Clothes: Anthropologie.com

Shoes: Zappos.com

Nerd: Thinkgeek.com

Tea: Davidstea.com

Fave in-store shopping: Target, Kohl’s, Barnes and Noble, Best Buy

So now that you’ve got the gift part down, time to wrap. Hate wrapping? Enlist a friend to help or take your gifts to a wrapping station in a department store (or Barnes and Noble!) Or get a gift bag and tissue paper. No wrapping paper? Get creative and use a paper grocery bag or newspaper for wrapping paper (especially the comics section). Bonne chance, mes amis!

Job Interview

Job interviews are fun, in my humble opinion (IMHO). Side note, whenever I see or say IMHO, I think of this guy:

Imhotep from The Mummy

Man I loved those movies! Anyways, job interviews are fun. I know, I am weird. I also enjoy going to the dentist. It's more about my teeth feeling amazing and getting free dental care accessories. But back to interviews...

Interviewing well is not a difficult thing, believe it or not. I have seen first hand (and heard of) a lot of really bad stuff that you should never do at an interview. I have been to quite a few job interviews. I mean, I am not that old or anything, but I do have some life experience in that department. I have also interviewed people to work where I work, and you wouldn't believe some of the crazy shiggen I have seen. I have done phone interviews and in person interviews (both as interviewer and interviewee), so I know how it works from both ends. So take some notes, and bonne chance! I will prepare you well, and you are going to ROCK this interview.

Nope, not this kind of rock

Not this kind of Rock either

Now we're talking!!! Rock that interview!!!

Preparing For the Interview

-Make sure your résumé and LinkedIn profile (if you have one) is up-to-date. This should go without saying, but make sure to have current contact information, job information, etc. on your hard copies, as well as anywhere you have your résumé posted online. If the old cell phone number that you no longer have is on there and the employer tries to reach you, you are making them jump through hoops and do extra work to reach you, which is a bad impression from the start. Also, review your résumé beforehand, because some older experiences may be difficult to recall if an interviewer asks about them.

-Consider changing your Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr/MySpace/Pinterest settings to private for pictures, information, etc. In this day and age, you better believe that this company is going to be doing their research on YOU. If they see pictures of you getting wild on spring break with a beer bottle in your hand, they are probably going to hire someone more professional (or at least smart and savvy about their FB privacy settings). In general, keep the alcohol/scantily clad pictures off of Facebook. Trust me... nobody wants to see that stuff anyways. I have a friend who is FB friends with their boss, but blocks them from seeing any pictures.

Party time!!! Woooo!! If it's on the internet, it's fair game to search.

-Make sure your voicemail message is professional. In other words, "Leave me a message, bitch!" is probably not going to get you hired. Just sayin'...

-Do be prepared and know a little about the company. Know the name of the company before the interview also. Don't show up to learn about the company from the interviewer. If the company you are interviewing for has a website, check it out. Read about the company and their mission, browse around, and spend some time getting familiar with it. No need to memorize facts and figures, but during the interviewer if you could casually drop in something about what you read, it shows you have done your homework and that you care enough to find out more information about your future employer.

-Choose your references wisely. Make sure they are people in your life who have worked with or supervised you, know your work ethic and character well, and who you have a positive relationship with. If you have references listed, make sure to let them know that they may be contacted by the company. This way, they can prepare what they might say about you, and it's just courteous. One time one of my family members was interviewing for a job and her interviewer showed up at my place of employment unannounced. That was quite surprising! (Gee, thanks for the heads up on that one!)

-Here is a great resource for the 50 most common questions employers ask. Practice answering each of these questions with a specific example (if possible), and thinking of answers to scenarios (when you have worked as a team, when you had to prioritize multiple tasks, when you had to handle a difficult customer/ situation, when you had a conflict with a co-worker etc.). Practice with a friend or family member, and have them be the interviewer.

-Get enough sleep the night before, and eat breakfast (or lunch/dinner depending on what time your interview is). It's important for you to look and be well rested and fed so that you can be alert, and you don't want your stomach growling loudly during the interview.

I have been awake for 3 days straight...

-Have a clean, neat appearance before you leave the house. This means clean shaven, clean body, hair brushed and styled, teeth brushed, minimal perfume or cologne (one light spritz on your neck and wrists, if any at all--someone may be allergic), deodorant, clean nails, minimal makeup and jewelry, and dressed professionally. No need to pay for an expensive manicure or pedicure, but make sure your nails are clipped, filed, and throw a coat of clear nail polish on there to make them shine. Yeah, don't do that while you are waiting in the lobby before your interview--take care of it the night before. If you are wearing open toed shoes, don't neglect your toe nails either. Make sure to take any pet hair off of your clothes and jacket/coat with a tape roller. Again, these are all things to do at home BEFORE you leave the house, or in your car, at the very least if you must.

This girl is going to get hired

-Do show up looking clean and polished, like a shiny, new penny. Don't show up looking like you just got out of the shower. Or just rolled out of bed. If your hair is all wet/crazy, it looks like you didn't put any effort into your appearance, so what's to say you will put effort into coming to work at this job every day? If you wear your pajamas and slippers (I have seen this, no joke), I am going to assume you are here to sleep on the job. Or you are going to shop at Walmart. I told that interviewee in pajamas that was not appropriate attire to wear to an interview--ever. Make sure your clothes and shoes are clean and ironed, and free of holes, stains, rips, etc. Don't smoke before the interview or you will smell like smoke.

She was up all night partying...with her cats.

-Do show up with a natural (or close to natural) hair color and cut. Don't get a weird haircut or dye job. If you have blue hair and a mohawk, chances are your future employer is not going to appreciate your avant-garde look. It's just not cool in the working world. You hair should be tangle free, brushed, and styled.

-Do wear minimal jewelry and makeup. Don't wear your biggest earrings or every piece of jewelry you own. If jewelry is ragged or cheap looking, wear none. No facial piercings, but if you must have them, keep them to a bare minimum, and wear your smallest ones.

Nicki Minaj's hair, makeup, nails, jewelry, and clothes are about as unnatural as it gets.

-Do wear natural, daytime makeup. This means foundation (don't cake it on and make sure you blend at the neckline. Oh, and that it matches your ACTUAL skin color--not the one you wish you had), concealer, loose powder (if you need it), a natural, neutral eye shadow color (no blues, greens, silvers, purples, etc.), minimal eyeliner, if any (not a thick bold line like Cleopatra), a little mascara (no fake lashes), blush, and a little chapstick or lipgloss (not a bright or bold lipstick--natural is fine). Don't experiment with a new makeup product or look right before your interview. Don't look like you are about to go out on the town. This is not Halloween or date night--it's a job interview, for goodness sake!

Maybe if they are looking to hire a vampire...

-Do arrive early. Don't be late. Arrive no later than 15 minutes before the start of your interview. If you have never been to the site, before the day of the interview, time yourself to see how long it takes you to get there from your house, and plan to leave early (don't forget to factor in weather and traffic). That way, you have time to get yourself together, take a deep breath, and knock 'em dead.

I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date, oh yes, I'm LATE!

-Bring 3 clean (i.e. not written on, wrinkled, stained, etc.) copies of your résumé, a list of at least 3 professional references and their contact information (not related to you, and not necessary if they are already included on your résumé) and a notepad and a pen. You can jot down notes, if needed, and those notes of what you learn will be helpful later for your thank you note.

-Get your confidence on. You are the best person for this job, so prove it! Don't brag about yourself, but be prepared with some specific examples about how you are punctual, dependable, hard-working, a team player, etc. Also, think about your strengths and weaknesses. If you can't think of any weaknesses, that's a problem, because everyone has stuff they can work on. Spend some time thinking about it and come up with at least 2 to have ready.

What to Wear

Ask the interviewer what the dress code is. The person wearing a suit and tie is going to make a much better impression over the person wearing a scruffy, wrinkled t-shirt and jeans. Plan your outfit out the night before. Make sure the clothes fit you appropriately (for your shape and size--nothing baggy or skin tight--well proportioned and well fit to suit you are best), and are clean, ironed, and all laid out. Also, your fashion shouldn't be dated, as in from the 1990s or earlier. If you need a wardrobe update, you don't have to fork out a lot of money...there are affordable options at K-Mart, Walmart, Target, TJ Maxx, and Kohl's. Then you won't be rushing around or trying to decide what to wear in the morning. I have done a lot of research on what to wear, and here are some good examples of what to wear for high school interview attire, and men and women for summer employment, internships, startup companies, and professional, business, and business casual attire.

He's a dapper young lad, don't ya think?

-Wear neutral colors (this includes your coat/jacket, briefcase, or purse as well). Avoid clothes that are skin tight or sexy, plunging necklines (especially with a blazer, wear an appropriate shirt underneath that is not too revealing), skirts so short that you can't sit down without showing your hooha, really high heels/platform shoes (and hooker boots), hats, hoodies, Crocs, athletic clothes, see-through tops, nighties, scrubs, pajamas, wizard robes, costumes of any sort, flip flops, sunglasses, headphones, novelty ties, sneakers or athletic shoes (especially if they are raggedy and worn and even if they are brand spanking new), and anything flashy, neon, glittery, bright, bedazzled, revealing, skin-tight, or over the top that is going to take away from the main focus--YOU. A little pop of color as an accent is ok and is even on trend. Ask yourself, would Richard Simmons wear this? If the answer is yes, it's an automatic HELL NAW. Put it back in your closet. Right. Now.

Richard Simmons and his AWESOMELY not interview-friendly fashion

Phone Interviews

Phone interviews are cool because you CAN do them in your PJs. Obviously you don't have the visual cues like facial expression or what you are wearing, so that's a bonus. But you do have to be on your "A" game in terms of what you say, because your tone and courteous manner are all that you have to work with on the phone.

-Do be positive. Don't complain about anything (even the weather), or have a negative attitude. If you have to say something negative at all, try to put a positive spin on it.

Which dude would you rather hire?

-Do smile. An interviewer can hear the smile in your voice. Have a courteous manner and tone throughout the call. Don't interrupt or talk over the interviewer, or if you do accidentally, apologize.

-Be yourself. Don't be fake, or pretend to be someone you are not. Otherwise, you will have to hold up that facade for as long as you work there. It's easier to be honest and real.

I'm a sheep...no really, I am!

-Don't eat or chew gum/candy/cough drops/food while on the call. It's extra loud in the person's ear that you are talking to. Don't sneeze, burp, or cough into the phone either. There's a mute button for good reason.

Om nom nom!

-Do be polite and respectful. Don't say anything to the interviewer that you wouldn't say in court to a judge, or to your dear old granny. For example, A good opener to a conversation is not, "Hey, I remember you--we got drunk together that one night!" Don't use slang, swear, use offensive language, or tell any jokes that may be considered offensive (racial, sexual, etc.) Remember, even if you know the person who is interviewing you--this is an interviewer, not your homie. Use please and thank you where appropriate, and remember your manners.

You said WHAT?!?!

-Do be honest. Don't lie about anything (this included what you put on your résumé). Seriously, don't lie about finishing school if you haven't, how much you make, the jobs you have held, or anything. The employer may do some research on you, and the last thing you want to do is be caught in a lie. What employer wants to hire someone who can't even be honest in the interview for hire?

I always show up to work on time! *nose grows*

-Do talk your skills and strengths up. Emphasize why you are perfect for this job with the experience you have and use specific examples. Talk about what you can uniquely contribute and why you would be an asset to the company.

-Ask questions if you need clarification. Don't think you are going to look dumb if you need something repeated, or phrased in a different way.

-Do jot down any important information that the interviewer says.Write down anything you didn't know prior to the interview, anything they stress, or anything they say more than once. One interviewer I had kept mentioning customer service skills and the follow up interview I had later on had a lot of customer service based scenario questions, so listen and pay attention--it can only help you.

In Person Interviews

Take it from a fashionista--your appearance matters, and first impressions are everything. The second you walk through the door, you are going to be judged based on how you look--your appearance, your gender, your ethnic background, your income level, etc. I am not saying it's right or fair, but the reality is that's the way it is. Here are some good body language tips from Career Builder.

-Remain calm. You got this! Take a deep breath before you begin the interview.

-Do smile. You will appear to be friendly and approachable. Employers are more likely to hire someone who is positive and happy, versus someone who is bored, uninterested, or negative.

-Turn your phone off and put it away during the interview. End of story. The last thing you want is to get a call or text, and have "Baby Got Back" as your ringtone. No texting during the interview either!!!!

Dude, really? Put that thing away.

-Don't bring a drink to the interview other than water. You might just spill it on yourself, and that would be a recipe for disaster.

Oopsies! I don't think my Clorox pen is going to get this out...

-Pop a breath mint before your interview. Don't chew gum/candy/cough drops during the interview. It's distracting, annoying, and unprofessional. If you must chew gum beforehand, spit it out before the interview.

Something smells...

-Do be confident. Use a firm handshake to greet the interviewer in the beginning of the interviewer and at the end (not a limp, loose one like a dead fish), and make eye contact. For people who avoid eye contact, often times the employer thinks that they are hiding something, or not confident. You are the best person for this position, so prove it to the interviewer. If they ask you a question that you don't expect, take a moment to think about your response before you start vomiting out words just for the sake of answering.

A nice, firm handshake is a good start to an interview

-Don't fidget or shake your leg. It's distracting, and just shows the interviewer that you are nervous and uncomfortable. Don't click a pen, rock or roll your chair, or tap your fingers on the desk either. Place your hands in your lap and keep them still. Also don't scratch or rub your neck, face, nose, ears, or anything else.

-Sit up straight in your chair, and lean slightly forward toward the interviewer. Don't slouch or get too comfortable. Don't lean toward the door either or it will appear as though you are trying to make a fast getaway. Don't sit with your arms crossed, as that is a defensive and unfriendly posture.


She has good posture and seems very engaged

-Do not invade personal space. This means don't be any closer than 20 inches to the interviewer, or you may make them feel uncomfortable.

-Pay attention. Maintain eye contact and listen well to the interviewer--do not zone out. Nod ocasionally (not constantly like a bobblehead) and keep an interested expression. Don't have a blank look on your face, or you will appear bored or disinterested.

Good eye contact goes a long way

-Be brief and to the point when answering. Do not overtalk. Do not monopolize the interview by doing all the talking or by rambling on and on, but give enough information to get your point across. Don't get sidetracked or go off on a tangent--stay focused, and make sure you answer what the interviewer is asking. Also, avoid talking about your personal life, unless specifically asked about it.

-Do not badmouth previous employers. "Yeah, working at Target really sucked. They don't treat their employees well at all," is not a good thing to say. It's a smaller world than you think, and your interviewer might know the boss or company you are badmouthing. You also don't want the interviewer to think that is how you will talk about their company, especially if you leave on terms that are not the best.

-If you know someone at the company, it is ok to name drop. Let the interviewer know that you know Jack Nelson (and also make sure Jack Nelson is talking you up!) Sometimes, it can help. It's a small, small world, and a lot of the time for jobs, it is all about who you know to even get your foot in the door.

The 3 Questions You Should Always Ask

After all is said and done, when the interviewer asks if you have any questions, always say yes, even if you don't. Why? Because I have 3 fool-proof questions you can always ask that are sure to impress (courtesy of Forbes):

1. As an employee, how could I exceed your expectations? This way, you are putting out there that you are going to be meeting the job requirements, but also that you are willing to go above and beyond what is required of you from the start. This question shows confidence, and the answer can reveal what the interviewer hopes to accomplish by taking on a new hire, and that information can help you determine whether to accept the position if you get an offer.

2. What excites you about coming into work/ What do you love about working for this company? This can give you some great insight into the company that you might not otherwise get, from a personal experience. If the interviewer can tell you why they love and are passionate about working there, that is generally a really good sign. People also love to talk about themselves, and this provides an excellent chance to get to know the hiring manager and find some common ground.

3. Is there any reason why you wouldn't hire me? I know--this question seems really forward and ballsy. It is! I was hesitant to say it, but it really surprises the interviewer (in a good way). I always explain that if there is any reservations or concerns they have about hiring me, then I can go ahead and address those right now. It shows you have confidence and that you want to know where you stand and are willing to clarify or dispel any doubts they may have about you.

-Get the contact information of the interviewer (if they don't have a business card, get their full name correctly spelled, title, the company name, phone, email, and most importantly, mailing address). You will need this to follow up with any questions and the status of hiring, and send a thank you note.

-Do maintain your cool. Don't do a celebratory dance, song, yell, or gesture (Tim Tebow style) until you are back home, or at least well out of sight of the employer.

Dear Lord, please let me get this job!

After the Interview

Within a day (yes, 24 hours) of the final interview (because sometimes there are multiple interviews), send a thank you card to the interviewer. I know this may seem really archaic, but seriously, it puts you in the top 10% of applicants--since most people don't even bother in this day and age. Here is the website where I got these "how to write perfect thank you note" tips. Handwritten is most personal, and snail mail is the way to go. Typing the letter and signing it is also fine, but snail mail it. As a last resort, you can email a thank you note, but keep in mind it is not nearly as personal as a handwritten note. An interviewer might see it as you just copied and pasted a message. Also, send a thank you to each person from the company you interview with. It's not necessary to send one to a recruiter, but definitely to anyone who interviews you that works at the company.

Format of the Thank You Letter

1. Thank the interviewer for their time and consideration for the job. Remind them of the day/date you interviewed on. Be specific about the position you interviewed for (i.e. the customer service representative position), because sometimes companies are hiring for multiple positions that same day.

2. Show that you listened. Say something specific that you previously did not know about the company before the interview.

3. Briefly refresh the interviewer's memory on what you can do to do the job well. Or, tell them something specific that you didn't get a chance to (I have been thinking about this position and I know I can help because I can do A, B, and C).

4. Let the interviewer know that you are ready to begin. Let them know you are looking forward to hearing from them, and give them your contact information. That way, they don't have to go searching for it in a stack of résumés.

Following Up

If the interviewer specifically tells you that you will be hearing from them by a certain day within a week, wait it out. But, if you haven't heard from the company within a week, don't be afraid to follow up. Call the interviewer and let them know of your continued interest in the job and ask if there is any further information they need from you. You are NOT bothering them by doing this, and they are not too busy to consider getting back to you. The reason they make you wait in the first place to hear from them is so that they can see who actually follows up. If they are not available, just leave a message including that basic information on their voicemail along with a number to reach you at.

As a rule, don't ever text the interviewer. Unless they specifically say that you can, and if so, do it between the hours of 8am-6p, if possible. It's impersonal, but I did have one interviewer tell me that if I needed a quick response, I had her cell phone number and could text her.

Finally, treat yourself. You survived that interview, now don't stress about it. Take yourself out to dinner or have a drink. You will be doing that soon enough when you get the job!

Well, I know that was a lot, but that's all I have for you--the rest is up to you. In the near future I will have a post on cover letters and résumés. Good luck!

Memes

If you asked me 2 years ago what a meme was, I would have looked at you funny and told you a word that you made up. Thank goodness for nerdy boyfriends! According to Wikipedia, a meme is "an idea, behavior, or style that spreads from person to person within a culture." I actually remember learning about this in my high school world history class, but forgot about it until the internet meme became famous. An internet meme is something that has gone viral on the internet as sort of a type of inside joke, and usually references pop culture (but not always!) Someone once sent me a picture of a guy running that was a supposedly funny picture, and they were like, "Did you like the meme I sent you?" I was like, "Uh...yeah, that wasn't a meme...it was just a funny picture that you found." So indeed, nerds, there IS a difference between just a funny photo and a meme. Here are some examples of some memes I am sure you have seen or at least heard of:

So as you can see, they are pretty funny. They have websites you can go to and generate memes by just uploading a photo (just Google "meme generator"). I have taken to making my own memes, being the creative person that I am, and I will show you how to make your own memes too. Usually my memes are random, or about Wisconsin, bleeding disorders, or fashion, because I feel like there's not a lot of memes about those things. There are a few things you will need to generate your own meme, not from a website: Paint and Microsoft Word.

1. Research the meme you are doing. It's not going to be funny unless it is in the style of the meme. So first thing, Google the meme you want to use and find out how that meme works. For example, the Boromir meme (the last one pictured above) always starts with "One does not simply," and then you add in the rest. It comes from his line in Lord of the Rings when he says, "One does not simply walk into Mordor." Little did he know that line would become infamous as a meme!

2. Find the blank version of the meme you want to use. You can even Google "blank Boromir meme," and I guarantee you will get a blank one with no writing on it. Save it to your computer.

3. Open a new Microsoft word document. Go to Insert, choose picture, and then upload the meme picture you just saved.

4. Now go to Insert and choose text box (Simple is fine). Place the text box at the top of the blank meme (or wherever it usually appears). Enter in what you want it to say. Now, time for some editing.

6. If you are placing your text on a dark background, you will first want to change your text to be white. Highlight the text, click on the Home tab, and then for the font color, choose white.

7. Click on the Format tab. Where it says Shape Fill, select No Fill. Where it says Shape Outline, choose No Outline. You have now hidden the text box, and have only the text showing. Center it as needed.

8. You may have noticed that most memes have the same font. There is a commonly used one that I always used, and it is called Impact. Highlight the text, and change the font type to Impact. Now increase the font size. Generally size 22 or larger seems to work the best.

9. Just as a finishing touch, highlight the text one last time, and go back to the Format tab. Click on Text Outline and choose black. Beautiful!

10. Almost done! All we have to do now is crop and save that meme. Click next to the picture of the meme, so your cursor is next to it and your text or meme is not highlighted. Press Ctrl and PrtSc at the same time. You have just taken a screenshot of your entire screen!

11. Open up Paint. Press Ctrl and V to paste the screenshot you just took. Click Crop up at the top. Now crop just your meme out of the word document. Lastly, save your meme somewhere.

Voilà! You now have your very own customized meme. Now go Make It Work!

Grammar Nazi

Grammar is my life. I am obsessed with it--there is no doubt about that. I guess you could say I am a bit of a self-proclaimed grammar Nazi. Ok, a bit is an understatement. Yes, I even have a Pinterest board all about it. I like editing grammar when it is not correct, I like learning new words and their definitions, I like learning what languages and origins that words derive from, and I like learning other languages. I have no clue why I didn't decide to become an English teacher, a linguist, an etymologist, or a newspaper editor for my career. I would rock those jobs, hands down. When I wake up in the morning, I think to myself, what grammatical disasters will I encounter today? I can guarantee at least 5-10 (and that's on the low end), as sad as that is. I see mistakes everywhere I go: on signs, on menus, on things I read on the internet, in newspapers, on TV, etc. I actually enjoy editing, because I have a good eye for it. It really excites me, as nerdy as that sounds. I have edited numerous papers and written materials, both for content and grammar, for friends and family. It's a hobby I enjoy, much like playing video games or reading a good book. I edit publications as a side job, and I love it because it is at my own convenience, and I can get it done in a heartbeat. So if you ever need a proofreader, you know who to go to. Also, this blog post is "alot" amazing. Thanks to my good friend, Ray for sharing!

The majestic alot

 Some of my favorite games include Mad Libs and Scrabble. Why? Mad Libs is all about parts of speech (even though I tend to take it to a relatively perverted level most of the time. Also, there's a free app for it--download it. Do it.). And Scrabble is all about spelling. I mean, I took 3rd place in a spelling bee competition I did in 6th grade. Floating around somewhere there's even an embarrassing photo of unfashionable 6th grade me in braces and scrunchies with a bronze medal around my neck fist pumping at a young age, before that was a thing. Some of the smartest people I know have an extensive vocabulary that I am rather envious of. One of these (who I don't REALLY know personally) is Tim Gunn. When I listen to him speak on TV, he is very eloquent. He uses a lot of big words that I have to look up in the dictionary (examples: matronly, haberdasher, Sturm und Drang). He also uses a lot of references to famous people, events, places, etc. I also would like to point out that many careers have their own vernacular. That is, you learn a lot of jargon, or words that are specific to that field, such as cooking (al dente, a point) and ballet (pirouette, rond de jambe). I was shocked to learn that even gamers have a lingo all of their own (n00bs, pwn, afk). It shows that you are well-educated and cultured when you can incorporate other spectacular vernacular into your everyday language, and do so naturally and effortlessly. I am always impressed with people who can do that, and who also seem to know a little about a lot of different things. I expand my vocabulary through reading. There is so much to learn from books. Sometimes I, even on the rarest of occasions, catch typos in books, and think, "Wow, Stephanie Meyer really should have hired me as her editor."

Mad Libs! Best game ever...never leave home without it

I actually want to start a business where I would edit menus for restaurants in exchange for a free meal. I don't know if it will ever take off, but seriously, it would make their business look so much more professional. One of my favorite abominable online menus that I have seen is from this Mexican restaurant, Tres Locos. You can enjoy food that is "glutten" free, and they even have "pork lion." Picturing that one really made me laugh (after I was done cringing, of course). I emailed the manager and let him know about the typos and offered to fix them for him (twice), but never heard anything back. I guess he is ok with having an online menu that looks like it was written by a very young child who has not yet properly learned the ways of the English grammar (and potentially never will). And furthermore, he must be ok with me (and other grammar-sensitive customers) pointing out how dumb he looks, because he didn't even bother to respond to my email. Twice.

                                                                                                                                                               Whoops!

 I feel like if the only language you can speak is English, then you should be stellar at writing, reading, and speaking it. Unfortunately, that's not really the case. Most Americans don't speak a foreign language. I learned this when I went to my first ever global conference. People from other countries were really surprised to learn that I spoke French, and fluently! That was a very proud moment for me. I am a huge advocate of learning another language. Not only is it valuable to employers, in traveling, talking about anything interesting, and in social situations, but you truly learn so much more about your native language when you take another. When I took French in high school and in college, I learned the parts of English that I didn't even know existed and what they were called, and I learned that there are a lot of words we use in English that derive from French. A lot of words to do with fashion, decorating, cooking, art, language, any words ending in -tion, and so many common phrases (c'est la vie, vis-a-vis, déjà vu, etc.). It really gave me a new appreciation for the English language, and I learned how much we have borrowed (well, ripped off) from other languages to make our own.

Me too

From a very young age, I loved English and grammar classes in elementary school. I can remember when we would learn something, and then have to do an exercise on it in the book. I was done in two minutes or less. Every. Single. Time. In this day and age, kids have the convenience of cell phones, and communicate a lot through Facebook, Twitter, and texting. Hence all of the LOL, LMAO, YOLO, etc. The thing is, with all of the shortcuts like that, are they ever really learning proper grammar? My guess is, probably not. Eventually we all will be like, TTHDIENEONTOT and everyone will supposedly know what the hell that means! I have to admit that for younger kids I am Facebook friends with, I usually end up unsubscribing from their status updates. Especially when they are posting things like (no joke, this really was posted), "Dis movie is so kewl, its 1 of my faves u know lol jk" or "Toca bell has the best customer survice, un like the mcdonals people, they r stupid." I look at these statuses and I feel like I am 1) getting dumber just reading it, and 2) going to have an anxiety attack from the amount of wrongness. Also, I have never heard of "toca bell." I am totally going to be one of those moms who is all School Houserock-ish, like "Grammar is cool!" and reward my kids when they spell things right and punctuate properly. I probably will make my kids learn a second language from a very young age too, because studies have show that with brain development early on allows kids to catch on better. The ability to learn and absorb another language starts to taper off at around the age of sixteen. I'm not saying it's impossible to learn one after that point, but it just becomes increasingly more difficult. Those are the people who are saying things like, hola (pronouncing the "h") and grassy-ass for gracias. There are certain things that are absolute deal-breakers for me when it comes to dating. Bad grammar and punctuation is definitely one of those. It's pretty up there with smoking. I know, crazy, right? Good grammar is sexy. It shows that you are intelligent, and that you care about what you speak/write.

I also feel like if you have a good handle on English, you know when you can abuse it. What I mean by that is that even I use shortcuts like LOL and TY when I am texting or instant messaging my friends or family. And believe it or not, I am not always grammatically perfect (shocking, isn't it?) when I type, and sometimes I spell things wrong because I am typing too quickly and not checking it before I send it. But I know when it is appropriate to do so, and when it is not. Appropriate = a text to my bestie. Not appropriate: on a resume. You have to know the rules in order to break them. Otherwise, you just end up looking like a prize idiot. One thing I am very much known for is making up my own language, including workplace appropriate swear words, random words, and general Shelly-isms. Well, I say making up, but I have borrowed some of them. Shiggens (shit) came from my cousin, so I have to give her credit for that one. Bizzle (bitch), I am pretty sure Snoop Lion (or whatever the hell he is called these days) invented that one, or, at the very least, made it famous. Tomater is a person who doesn't like tomatoes (tomato + hater = tomater). Mingys are short for flamingos, and Zeebees are shot for zebras. I also like to pluralize random words for fun. So, for example, "I love you so much" becomes "I love you so muchases." Seriously, say it out loud--it's a lot of fun. The only bad part is when I slip up at work and say something idiotic to my boss like, "I'll be right thereases." I bought this game called Bananagrams, which has a bunch of letter tiles (like Scrabble) in a banana-shaped carrying case, and accidentally threw the instructions away. On a plane ride with my friend Amanda, we busted it out and just decided to make up words to entertain ourselves, and furthermore, make up definitions to match those words. I came up with e-wambino. "What is an e-wambino?" she asked? It's a wambino...online. Duh!

 e-wambino: n. a wambino online

So how do I share my grammatical talents with the world? Well actually, I try to educate about it as much as possible. You can't teach everyone everything, but I try to correct people in a nice (humorous), constructive way. I won't just be all haughty like Hermione Granger, all "It's levi-ooooh-suh! Not levio-suh!" I will actually say, this is how it should be, and here is why (I leave out the you're welcome part--usually). I also occasionally will post grammar lessons on Facebook, explaining things like the difference between loose (not tight) and lose (opposite of "to win"), and why irregardless is not a proper word even though its in the dictionary (The prefix of -ir and the suffix of -less both mean "not" or "without." Example: bottomless (suffix -less) means without bottom, and irreversible (prefix -ir) means not able to be reversed. Therefore, to say "irreversibleless" is just silly, and infers a double negative, which actually equals a positive). The funny thing is, most people actually like the reminders my posts give them, and some people even thank me for the lesson and comment on how those things drive them batty also. And some make suggestions for future grammar lessons! I love it so much. If you are not good at grammar, my top suggestions would be to read books about grammar, and practice what you learn by writing. Read books in general to increase your vocabulary. Also, learn another language--take a course or listen to a language on CD. If any of those ideas are too tough, check out this quick reference, or you could always subscribe to my grammar lesson status updates for free. :)